


The Same Four Walls

by spreadyourwingsandfly



Category: Black Panther (2018), Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Mentions of Death, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 06:14:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15504096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spreadyourwingsandfly/pseuds/spreadyourwingsandfly
Summary: SPOILERS FOR INFINITY WARTRIGGER WARNING- HEARTBREAK, LOSS OF APPETITE,I wrote this with a few Marvel Characters in mind so that way you can kind of pick and choose, but I have tagged who I had on my mind while writing this.





	The Same Four Walls

The shower has been the only source of warmth these last few months. Without the man you love sharing the bed with you, it’s been so difficult to feel the same spark of electricity and love. The shower is the next best thing, so you stay in there.  
But The shower is not T’Challa, it’s not the way his hands used to correct your hips as he kissed you. It’s not the way he always made you feel safe when he brought you into a warm embrace, your face nestled against the soft fabric of whatever shirt he happened to be wearing the day.   
The shower is not and keeps you clean, but it can’t do anything about this numbing sensation that you’ve been feeling these last six months.  
Six months.   
Six months, 182. 5 days, 4,380 hours, and 262,800 minutes.  
No matter how you count the time that has gone by, it’s been that long since you’ve seen the love of your life, since you’ve heard that sweet voice, since you’ve felt anything but misery.  
Actually, sadness and dejection would be welcomed feelings. You’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all.  
You try to go about your day, waking up and eating breakfast and getting ready for work and lunch and coming home and dinner and sitting on the couch and watching your favorite show.  
But the lump in your throat prevents you from eating, becoming larger and larger until you leave the table with a bit of food left, not finishing it all.  
Your commute to work is boring and collarless without his comforting talks or his witty banter.  
Work drags on and on without cutest texts and dumb comments throughout the day, via text.  
The couch feels empty and cold without his presence, and you feel the weight of old memories bearing down on you in a way that you couldn’t quite handle the weight of- late night movies and heart-to-hearts and make out sessions and fights and tears of joy.   
You can’t quite recall what made you call him, knowing that you’d be sent straight to voicemail as soon as you did.  
Maybe you’ve lost your sense of pride, but you don’t care. You’ve called a thousand times. It’s the only way to hear his voice, and if you hear his voice, you’ll be fine.  
At the end of the day, though, you’ll return to the bed snuggling up to the side that used to be his and missing the scent ha the used to leave on the pillow on the rare nights that he would spend the night with you. You can’t seem to leave his side, and the only thing that’s on his pillows bow ate all the tears that you’ve cried.  
You should say goodbye.  
You can’t, though, and you won’t.  
Six more months have gone by, and you realize that, yes, you’ve lost all sense of pride. You’ve called that number a thousand times, just to hear his voice so you’ll be fine.   
You feel half alive at the most, and you can’t seem to feel anything other than that numbness. How odd that you can feel numbness, but you can. Because when you try to feel something else, you feel this dullness that just keeps hitting you.  
Over,  
And Over  
And Over again.  
At the end of the day, though, you know it’s just the four walls of your home and you. His laugh echoes off of it, as do his love and wisdom and humor. These four walls contain memories that you won’t soon relieve, because you’ve been hoping and wishing and nothing’s seemed to change yet.  
So here you’ll sleep tonight, within these four walls, knowing that things will never, ever be the same, even if he ever came back.  
Because those memories just won’t seem to disappear…  
But he sure did.   
And maybe that’s why you can’t seem to face the fact that you may never see this man again.  
Because he quite literally disappeared, vanishing into thin air like so many others, a cloud of dust in the wind.  
And you’re stuck here, calling the same phone number  
Hearing his voice over and over again.  
Stuck within the same four walls.  
DISCLAIMER- I DO NOT OWN THE SONG OR ANY MARVEL CHARACTERS MENTIONED


End file.
